Monday, March 9, 2009

Something Evil

Satan's Spawn

How could an everyday, mundane rice cooker harbor something so atrocious, something so vile - I'm not even going to post it here for fear of offending readers with weak constitutions. You will have to go here and here and here to witness it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I made rice about two weeks ago. James usually makes it. Sometimes we leave it overnight and eat it for breakfast. But that didn't happen this time. We discovered the result a week later. What we found was so horrific we shut the lid and delayed facing our fears for another week.

Actually even though it was my fault, James did all the fear-facing. See, James usually does less than his share of cleaning around here. Why? Well, my standard of living is sort of "messy college student," whereas James' is more "feral child." I think cleaning should be done on Sundays. James thinks cleaning should be done when Leslie gets her crazy face.

I made it clear I'd buy a new rice cooker before I'd clean ours. So James got to pay off his cleaning debt by scraping away the alien life form incubating in our kitchen appliance. What a guy.


MitMoi said...


I had no idea.

Did it get rid of the smell? I'd worry it would start to stink again the next time you made rice.

Ezra said...

Dude, that is disgusting, terrifying, awesome!

You know, my friend once lived out a similar situation. Except in his case, nobody ever cleaned it. Six months later, there was nothing left in the rice cooker. Maybe the mold ate itself-- but of course, it took 6 months for this to happen.

And by that time, the rice cooker had these strange black smudges which never went away. It was profoundly shocking to know that in the end, it dies and disappears.

love ezra